The scariest part lately is talking about my relationship background. I just realized how bad it sounds. It's like giving a great job you want a resume that is for the most part a completely blank page with the exception of a couple of short lived failures. I usually embellish my past relationships by calling guys who I only had sex with "ex-boyfriends."
Once I manage to get past the interview phase and start hanging out with someone, I worry that they can tell how little relationship experience I do have. I have no idea what relationship people do. I have watched, though. They seem to touch each other a lot and say the word "babe" instead of their actual names. When I've tried to be affectionate, it usually comes off as robotic and instead of saying "babe," I say things like, "EVERYTHING IS FINE. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE." It makes no sense. I know.
The way I dress is a dead give away to my lack of relationship understanding. I don't have a ton of money left over after my kid uses it all on things like food she wants so that she's not hungry anymore and other such annoying things. I dress like I'm in that phase of a relationship where you don't have to care anymore. That can be a problem. Especially, if you're with someone who cares if you look like you care.
It's like that old catch 22. You need to get a job to get experience, but you need experience to get a job, except apply that to relationships. I guess I'll have to settle for a relationship internship in the meantime. I think they call that OkCupid.