One day, I took my daughter to the playground. She ran around hitting and pushing all of the kids. They cried and cried. All the parents got mad at us. I said, "HAHAHAHAHAA!" My daughter and I just laughed and laughed. I think I even hit a few parents on the back of their heads. I can't remember. I was drunk.
All of sudden, my kid was a teenager and was underage drinking and driving or as I call it, "having fun." She ran over a few people or so and kind of killed them or as I call it, "made an oopsie daisy." For a moment I got worried and thought, "I better put on my parenting cap and make this a learning lesson." So, I hired a great lawyer and we made sure to teach my child and the rest of the country that when you're rich and white, you can do anything your little heart desires and there is no such thing as consequences.